Unobtainable Read online

  Edgar shoved me hard and I landed flat on my back on his bed. His hands were rough as he looped them under the waistband of my jeans.

  “Get these the fuck off,” he growled.

  I gave him what I hoped was a disgruntled look and unzipped my jeans. Before I could do anything else, Edgar was wrenching them from my body.

  “Fuck me,” he breathed when he noticed I had gone commando.

  “Thinking ahead,” I murmured.

  “I definitely like your train of thought.” He pulled off my T-shirt next, leaving me completely exposed to his gaze. Fortunately, he appeared to approve of whatever he saw.

  He stepped back from the bed, his gaze never leaving me, and stripped naked. He grabbed lube and a strip of condoms from his bathroom and returned to the bedroom, kneeling next to me.

  “How is it you don’t have a hundred guys chasing after you?” he asked.

  “How is it you think your bullshit lines will work on me,” I shot back.

  Edgar grinned. “You think it’s just a line, papi chulo?”

  I snorted. “Give me a break.”

  He laughed and leaned down to kiss me. His mouth was hot and moist as his tongue licked along the seam of my lips. My eyes drifted closed as he deepened the kiss, spreading his hands all over my chest, then down to my stomach just above my pelvis.

  “One of these days,” Edgar said, his voice low and rough, “I’m going to lick every inch of you from head to toe, or maybe bite every inch.” To demonstrate, he sunk his teeth into that sensitive skin just below my belly button.

  I ignored the inference of more—I needed to—and instead muttered, “Why don’t you just get to whatever you’re doing now?”

  He chuckled, his breath grazing the hairs on my stomach. “Are you impatient for me to fuck you?”

  “Well, you talk a good game. I want some action.”

  “Do you, cariño?” His hand grasped my cock.

  My breath hitched as I pushed into his grip. His lips covered mine as his thumb brushed over the drop of pre-cum leaking from my dick. My body was aflame with the need for him to take me.

  He pushed my thigh out of the way, and with his other hand, he pushed two slicked fingers inside me. The slight sting startled a gasp out of me, but he stole it when his tongue thrust inside my mouth. His hand on my cock brought me to a feverish pitch.

  Edgar’s mouth left mine but only to latch onto the pulse of my throat. I felt him suck and bite there, and knew he was marking me. I should have protested, but the words died in my throat as he added a third finger into my ass.

  His lips moved to my ear. “Soon it will be my cock inside you.”

  “How soon?”

  “Soon,” he whispered. His fingers slipped out of me and he tore open a condom packet. I watched him perched between my legs, rolling the condom over his big, thick cock.

  I found myself transfixed by his every move, anticipation making my breaths short and my palms sweat.

  His hands moved to the backs of my thighs, lifting my legs high in the air and spreading my ass cheeks. His cock slapped against my inner thighs and he rubbed it along the crack of my ass.

  “Stop teasing me.” I heard the pleading in my voice.

  Edgar’s lips curved. With one hand on the base of his cock, he directed it to push inside me. My muscles loosened to accommodate his invasion. I was stuffed full, a good fullness, as he began to move within me.

  I reached for my own cock, yearning for the touch it was now missing, and I closed my fist around the shaft, sliding it along the length to the rhythm of Edgar’s thrusts inside me.

  The bed rocked with our effort, moving just a bit on the floor as Edgar continued pounding into me with powerful, intense thrusts. He pushed my legs up higher still, going impossibly deeper.

  The orgasm that had been building since Edgar had been stroking my dick slammed through me, wrenching a cry from my lips. Cum spattered across my stomach and painted Edgar’s chest.

  Only a few minutes later, Edgar pulled out of me, tore off the condom, and sprayed me with his own cum.

  * * * *

  “Scott?”

  “Mmm.”

  “You never got your bag out of your car.”

  I snuggled into the covers. “Who cares?”

  Edgar laughed softly. “You say that now, but you’ll care later. Where are your keys? I’ll get it.”

  “Front pocket of my jeans.”

  I felt him rise from the bed, heard the jingle of my keys, and then a few minutes later, I heard the front door open and close.

  Turning onto my back, I contemplated the dark ceiling. We’d fallen asleep after our lovemaking. I was pretty sure I’d been sleeping the sleep of the dead. I knew I should get up and clean off since what seemed like copious amounts of dried cum covered me. I had to pee anyway. So I made myself get up and go into the bathroom.

  By the time I had relieved myself and washed off the dried bodily fluids, Edgar had retrieved my overnight bag and set it next to the bed. I reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of cotton pajama bottoms.

  “You could sleep naked,” Edgar commented as I sat on the edge of the mattress to put on the pajamas.

  “I could do a lot of things.”

  He snorted. “You’re grouchy in the middle of the night.”

  I got back in bed. “I hate being awakened.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Hmm. You don’t sound sorry.”

  Edgar lay next to me. “Hey.”

  “Hey what?”

  “Don’t I get a goodnight kiss or something?”

  “You get something, all right.” I turned away from him. “Goodnight.”

  Edgar sighed dramatically. “Goodnight, Grouchy.”

  Chapter 5

  In the morning, Edgar had offered to make me breakfast before I left, but I thought it best to get out as fast as I could.

  “Are you sure?” Edgar asked, rubbing the back of his neck. He’d pulled on a pair of battered-looking sweatpants. “I could make pancakes or something. I bet I have pancake mix around here.”

  “No, really. That’s okay. I have a lot of things to do today.”

  Edgar seemed not to hear me. “I’ve got eggs.”

  “No, really—”

  He smiled then, a white flash against his tan skin. “I don’t have a lot of guys stay over, you know?”

  “I figured. It’s really okay. I’m good.”

  Neither of us seemed to do the “morning after” very well. I didn’t know where I stood with him, really, and I had guessed he didn’t have much experience with waking up with someone in his bed. So I showered, dressed, and practically ran from his house, mumbling something about having a ton of things to do.

  Nothing had been said about spending the day together or seeing each other that night, which to me told me Edgar had other plans. I did have a few things around the apartment I needed to do, so I saw to those and tried not to wonder too much what Edgar was doing that night.

  I kind of knew his hangouts, though, his habits and such, so at around eight that night, I surprised myself by getting in my car and driving around Haydon Cliff to see if Edgar was haunting one of his usual places to look for guys.

  His motorcycle was at the second bar I visited, a place called Hardy’s. I sat there, running my engine, and staring at his bike. This was exactly what I hadn’t wanted. I wasn’t the kind of guy who followed my lovers around to check if they were cheating. I didn’t want to become that type of person. I’d been down the road of a cheating boyfriend—and yeah, Edgar certainly wasn’t my boyfriend—but even after that I didn’t follow guys around. Yet wasn’t that what I was doing here? Edgar could do as he pleased. We didn’t have strings or even labels.

  I started driving away, about to leave the parking lot entirely, when I noticed in my rearview mirror the door of the bar opening. I pulled into a parking space and hunkered down in my seat. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew Edgar was coming out. And I also knew he wouldn’
t be alone.

  Sure enough, he stepped out of Hardy’s with his arm around another man. I didn’t recognize the guy. I didn’t want to. They got on Edgar’s bike and left the parking lot with the man’s arms clutching Edgar’s waist.

  I certainly had my answer now. Edgar hadn’t changed. He’d just added me to the list. I slammed my palm on the steering wheel. I was far more disappointed in myself than I was in Edgar. I knew he and his philandering heart were unobtainable. I thought I’d even guarded against it. But still my heart felt like someone had grabbed onto it and twisted it in my chest.

  I drove away from Hardy’s. I decided to check out the park where the most recent murder had happened, but it was quiet. No signs of trouble. At least from my vantage point from my car. Before I knew it, I was driving to the old house in which I’d grown up. The lights were on and I found myself parking and going to the front door.

  My sister, Ofelia, opened the door. “Hey!” She pulled me into a hug. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “I know. Is it a bad time?”

  “No. Come in.”

  My sister and her husband had bought the place from our mother when we’d figured it was time to set her up in an assisted-living home. My sister and her family, which also included two kids, had lived there for years.

  “Coffee?”

  “Sounds good. Where are Ryan and the kids?”

  “He took them to the movies. One of the superheroes things.” She smiled before gesturing for me to follow her into the kitchen. She poured me a cup of coffee from the pot she’d already made.

  “I’m not interrupting your alone time?”

  She shook her head. “Just got home from the hospital. Long shift.”

  Ofelia was a registered nurse in the cardiac ward.

  I added cream and sugar to my coffee and joined her in the living room.

  “Seen Mom lately?” she asked.

  “No,” I admitted. “I really need to go.”

  “It’s probably hard with your work.”

  “I had today off. I should have gone then.”

  Ofelia nodded and sipped her coffee. “What’s up? You don’t usually just stop by, little brother.”

  “I was in the neighborhood.”

  “Yeah? For that case?”

  “You heard about it, huh?”

  She shook her head again. “Of course I have. It’s all over the news. Did you solve it?”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m not actually Sherlock Holmes.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure.” Ofelia smiled.

  I hesitated and took a large swallow of my coffee. “You ever think about leaving Haydon Cliff?”

  Ofelia studied me for a moment. In the old days she would have been smoking a cigarette, but she had given those up when she became a nurse. Said it made sense, after all. “Sure, I have. Everyone does.”

  “Do they?”

  “Some even do. Remember that guy you went to high school with? You two were real close. What was his name?”

  “Cord Grayson.”

  “Cord, that’s right. How could I forget such a name? Sounds like someone in a soap opera, doesn’t it?”

  “It does. And you’re right. We were very close.”

  Ofelia smirked at that. “Oh. So that’s how it was.”

  Cord was my first boyfriend. “That’s how it was.”

  “The point is, he left, didn’t he? And others, too. But you? You have a good job on the force, Scott. You thinking about giving that up?”

  “Crazy, right? Quitting the force here and leaving Haydon Cliff. Maybe go down to Los Angeles and join the force there.” I shook my head. “Nuts.”

  “For others? No. For you? Yeah. You love Haydon Cliff, Scott.”

  Which was very true. I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else, really. I felt at peace here in ways I had never felt in any other city.

  She watched me. “You talk to Edgar about this?”

  “Definitely not.”

  “Why do I get the impression there’s something there?”

  I shrugged. “We’ve slept together.”

  “You have?” Ofelia seemed as surprised as I felt. “Since when?”

  “A few days ago.”

  “Then you definitely need to talk to him about it.”

  I rose and went for a refill from the coffee carafe. “Not really.”

  “Not really? What does that mean, Scott? You’re being awfully cryptic.”

  “It means pretty much what you’d think. We had sex, Ofelia. We aren’t picking out curtains and a white picket fence.”

  “Oh.” She waited for me to return to my seat. “I thought…well you always seemed to really be into him. I wondered why you never went for it.”

  “I am into him. He’s not into me.”

  “Is that why you want to leave Haydon Cliff?’ Ofelia sighed and gave me one of her assessing looks. “Over a guy? Look, I don’t know what is or isn’t between you and Edgar, but my advice? Don’t leave. This is your home. Ask your boss for a new partner if you have to. But guys? There are plenty of them out there, Scott. Don’t change your whole life over one relationship that didn’t work out.”

  “Is there something you aren’t telling me from your own personal experience?”

  She shrugged. “Just trust me.”

  “You’re probably right. And I should be going. I’m probably boring you with my problems.” I stood once more and brought my coffee mug to her sink. She stood also and walked me to the door.

  “You aren’t boring me. In fact, you should stop by more often. See the kids once in a while.”

  I felt the guilt I should have felt. It was true. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d come by just to see her kids. I wasn’t a very good uncle. Or brother. Or son. Some things in my life needed to change.

  “You’re right again. What is that? Ten for ten?’

  “At least. See you soon. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  “And go see Mom. She’d like that.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but I agreed anyway and headed out to my sedan to drive home. I had just opened the driver’s door when I heard my name.

  Glen Henderson, my sister’s neighbor, came over to me. His family had lived for years in the house to the right of our family’s home. Glen and his wife, who had passed away a few years ago, had been friends of my parents.

  “Hello, Scott. I thought that was your car I saw parked at the curb.”

  “Hi, Glen. How are you?”

  “Good. I haven’t seen you in the neighborhood lately.”

  “I don’t get over here as much as I should.”

  He nodded. “You working the homeless murders case?”

  I was a little surprised by the question. I was hardly the only homicide detective in Haydon Cliff. Possibly not even the only one Glen knew. But I supposed these particular murders were the topic of the town. “Yeah.”

  “How’s that coming along?”

  “Slow,” I admitted. And I left it at that. I wasn’t about to give out information about my investigation to anyone. Not even nosey neighbors.

  Glen shook his head. “Crazy. Murders in Haydon Cliff? Homeless people?”

  “Murders happen everywhere. We’ve had the homeless for a while, though. I remember them when I was a kid.”

  He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, but it’s gotten worse. There’s a whole camp of them in Lemon Park. Used to be one or two. Thought they’d hang out in the big cities. Probably get more aid there.”

  “Well, there’s the mission here. I think they go into the parks and give them food.”

  Glen looked irritated. “Sure, and that’s why they stay.”

  “They don’t want to be homeless, Glen.”

  He snorted at that. “I’m not so sure. Everyone loves a handout.”

  I didn’t feel like arguing with Glen about social or economic injustices. He’d clearly had his own opinions and they didn’t mesh with mine. But it was no doubt true that the homeless murders s
eemed to have everyone in Haydon Cliff on edge.

  “Not sure they really have anywhere else to go,” I couldn’t help adding anyway. “Well, I need to get going home.”

  “Sure. Nice to see you again, Scott.”

  “You, too, Glen. Goodnight.”

  When I got back to my quiet, lonely apartment, I couldn’t help wondering what Edgar was doing. And I was afraid I knew all too well.

  Chapter 6

  The next morning I found myself asking to speak privately with my captain. I’d spent much of the night thinking about seeing Edgar at one of his usual pickup locations and my conversation with Ofelia. Talking to my superior was a step I still wasn’t sure I wanted to take, and even as I sat in the chair across from Captain Rivers, I wondered if I shouldn’t have talked to Edgar first.

  “What can I do for you, O’Hara?” Rivers was the no-nonsense type. A type I generally appreciated. He was tough but unfailingly fair. He’d been with the Haydon Cliff Police Department for his entire career and made it all the way up to captain from patrolman.

  “Well, I think I’d like to change partners, sir.”

  For a long time, Rivers just stared at me. His flint-gray eyes were hard and assessing. He tapped the pen he held in his hand on the desk. “Is it the gay thing?”

  “Definitely not.”

  “Are you sure? Because I know that’s a problem for some people. Lopez is a good cop.”

  “I completely agree, Captain.”

  “But it’s not the gay thing?”

  “No. It’s a deeply personal matter.”

  “Well.” Rivers, who had been leaning forward, straightened. “You know that’s what everyone is going to think, O’Hara.”

  If I thought about it honestly, I knew he was right. Everyone would assume I wanted a new partner because Edgar was gay. Which was stupid because we’d been partners for a while already and it hadn’t bothered me.

  “I can’t predict what people will think, Captain,” I replied.

  “True enough. Can you finish the homeless case first or is this urgent?”

  I knew I had to be reasonable. Especially since I wasn’t even sure I was doing the right thing. “Yeah, sure. That’ll work.”