Admiring Jesse Read online

  Admiring Jesse

  By Shawn Lane

  Published by JMS Books LLC

  Visit jms-books.com for more information.

  Copyright 2017 Shawn Lane

  ISBN 9781634864008

  Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com

  Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.

  All rights reserved.

  WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It may contain sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which might be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Published in the United States of America.

  NOTE: This book was previously published by Amber Quill Press.

  * * * *

  Admiring Jesse

  By Shawn Lane

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 1

  I can’t say I ever looked forward to Valentine’s Day. I hadn’t really given it much thought at all. Not since childhood. It was not a holiday I liked. Not that I liked any.

  I was kind of the Charlie Brown of the kids when I was growing up. Other kids would invite me to their parties if they were forced to or give me Valentines because the school made us give them out to every kid, but for the most part, being small, plain, and boring, I was overlooked.

  So, when I came home from my morning courses at the local community college three days before Valentine’s Day, I barely glanced at the small, red, heart-shaped box of chocolates sitting on the coffee table. I figured either it was for my roommate, Gilbert Turner, or he’d bought it to give to someone himself.

  Gilbert and I had become roommates along with my cousin, Stuart, when the three of us decided to get an apartment together shortly after starting college. Gilbert had been Stuart’s best friend since grade school and I had sort of just come along for the ride. But Stuart had moved in with his girlfriend recently, so it was just the two of us now.

  I had a couple of hours before I had to be at work at a nearby department store, so I went straight to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. I was bent over digging in the crisper drawer of the fridge when Gilbert spoke from the doorway.

  “Hey, did you see something came for you?”

  I paused as my hand closed around a head of lettuce and straightened. “For me?”

  Gilbert was smiling, showing his perfect white teeth and the two dimples he had on either side of his mouth. Not that I had noticed or anything. But, hell, who was I kidding? Gilbert was gorgeous. He stood there with his perfect swimmer’s body wearing a tank top that showed off his swoon-inducing biceps, and a pair of ass-hugging jeans. His golden hair had been styled by one of those fancy salons.

  “That’s what the card said,” Gilbert said. “It’s on the coffee table.”

  Frowning, I closed the fridge and set the lettuce next to the loaf of bread, then walked out to the living room where I’d seen the heart-shaped box. Gilbert followed me and pointed at the attached card.

  “See? It says Jesse.”

  I blinked. “But nobody ever gives me stuff for Valentine’s Day.”

  He shrugged. “They have now. Open it and see who it’s from.”

  After opening the tiny envelope, I slid out a blood-red card covered in gold glitter with the word Sweetheart written on it. Inside it just said With Love.

  I handed the card to Gilbert who frowned at it. “That’s it?”

  “Looks like. Should I open the candy?”

  “Of course.”

  For a second I considered taking it into my bedroom to open it privately in case it was a joke. My freshman year in high school I had found what looked like a birthday card taped to my locker. When I’d opened the envelope it had been a letter which contained a bunch of insults. I didn’t want to be humiliated in front of Gilbert and find out the box contained dog doo or something.

  But I lifted the lid of the box and found it only contained truffles.

  “Oh, truffles. Can I have one?” Gilbert asked as he reached for a milk chocolate one in the middle.

  “Aren’t you worried it’s poisoned?”

  Gilbert had the truffle already to his lips. “Why would it be?” He shook his head and popped the chocolate into his mouth. “Oh my God.”

  “Are you okay? Was it poisoned?”

  “You are seriously strange, Jesse. No, it wasn’t poisoned. It’s really good.” He picked one up and held it to my lips. “Open up.”

  Ah, hell, and now my dick had to pick that moment to get hard. Yeah, I had the hots for Gilbert, but though he was gay, he was totally out of my league.

  I opened my mouth and he stuck the chocolate inside, and after chewing and swallowing the little piece of heaven, I nodded “Thanks. Those are really good. Wonder where they’re from.”

  He turned the box over. “It says Mademoiselle Lacrosse.”

  “Wow, really? I’ve heard that place is super expensive.”

  Gilbert handed the box to me and smiled. “Guess you have an admirer.”

  At that I rolled my eyes, and then set the box back on the coffee table. I went back into the kitchen to proceed with making my lunch. He followed me.

  “What? You don’t think you could?”

  “It’s not likely. Guys I know are interested in guys like you. They definitely don’t want someone who is five-three and weighs a hundred and twenty soaking wet.” No matter how much I ate or how much I tried to bulk up with muscles it was always the same old, same old.

  “You are a little smaller than some guys,” Gilbert agreed. “But you’ve got all that curly dark hair, those big brown eyes, and those puffy lips.”

  “Puffy lips? You make it sound like I had a Botox injection.”

  Gilbert snorted. “Hardly. But you do have kissable lips. I know a lot of guys who’d think you were really hot.”

  “Uh-huh. Any of your friends?” I took the lunch meat out of the fridge and set it next to the lettuce and bread already on the counter.

  “Well.” He shrugged.

  “Thought so.”

  “Jess, most of my friends are straight. And the couple of them that aren’t already have boyfriends.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I made my point.” I waved a butter knife at him I was using to smear mayo on my bread. “I suspect that box of chocolates was a mistake.”

  “It had your name on it.”

  “I’m sure they confused me with someone else.”

  Gilbert shook his head. “Whatever. You working today?”

  “In a couple of hours. I’m going to grab a quick nap after my sandwich.”

  “How about on Valentine’s Day?” Gilbert went to the cabinet and took out a plastic cup. He filled it with water from the water filter.

  I sighed. “I tried to get hours that day but they didn’t need me. So, unfortunately, no, I’m going to be home bored out of my skull. Probably order a pizza. What about you? I know you have to have a hot date. Are you still seeing that assistant swimming coach?”

  “Nah. That ended a few weeks ago. He was too into hims
elf. But yeah, I am hoping I’ll have a hot date. I’m trying to work that out, actually.”

  Which was extremely depressing. I knew I’d never get a guy like Gilbert, and I had accepted that, sort of, but it still stung a bit to hear him talking about plans that didn’t include me.

  He finished his water and set the cup in the sink. “Well, I’m headed out to do some swimming.”

  Yeah, he was always headed out to do some swimming. I thought he might be hiding gills under his clothes. He wanted to make the swim team for the 2016 Summer Olympics and had been training hard.

  “Okay, maybe I’ll see you tonight when I get home from work.”

  * * * *

  I got off work when the store closed at ten, so by the time I did some cleaning up, got out to my car, and drove home, it was a quarter to eleven. As I walked up the stairs to our apartment door I noticed a blue vase with a single dyed blue carnation. Wrapped around the neck of the vase was a blue ribbon.

  I bent to pick it up and this time there was just a blue sticky note on the vase that read Jesse. Whoever left it knew that carnations were my favorite flower and blue my favorite color. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, holding the vase.

  “Gilbert?”

  “Yeah?” he called from the living room.

  Carrying both my backpack, which I took everywhere with me, and the vase, I walked into the living room. “When did this come?”

  Gilbert was sitting on the couch, watching television. He frowned. “No idea. Where did you find it?”

  “In front of our door.”

  “It wasn’t there when I got home.”

  “When was that?” I set my backpack on a chair.

  “I don’t know. Just after eight, I think.” He smiled and turned off the television. “I’m guessing it’s for you again. Right?”

  I nodded. “Yes, and whoever they are, they know I like blue and carnations. You don’t think I have a stalker, do you?”

  He got up from the couch and grabbed the vase from me, heading into the kitchen. Of course I followed and watched as he added water from the sink to the vase.

  “No, I do not think you have a stalker. Aren’t they usually sinister? Like a box of flowers with worms in it or something?” He shrugged. “I think whoever he is, he just likes you, Jesse.”

  “Okay.” I exhaled. “Good. Well, then, it’s kind of sweet. If someone really does like me, why not just come and tell me so?”

  “I think this is his way of telling you.” Gilbert handed me the vase.

  I leaned down to smell the carnation. “Sweet. It has that clove smell I love so much. Some of them, you can barely smell. This one you can.”

  “I’m making myself some green tea,” Gilbert said, turning on the electric kettle. “You want some?”

  “Yeah thanks. That sounds good.” I went to sit at the dining room table where I could watch him as he took out two mugs and set them up with the strainer and his loose leaf green tea. He’d told me more than once his other dream, other than being in the Olympics, was to have his own tea shop. Maybe even a tea themed bed-and-breakfast. I smiled thinking of his enthusiasm when he’d talked to me and Stuart.

  “What are you smiling about?” he asked.

  “Just thinking about how much you love your tea.” The green one he was about to serve us was a special blend he had created.

  He smiled. “How was work?”

  “Crazy busy at first, but then it tapered off around dinner time and never got busy again. I kept watching the clock, waiting for closing.” I sighed. “I have a feeling the store is going to cut everybody’s hours or maybe even workers.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Yeah. Honestly. I need something that pays better anyway. I’m barely making it with paying rent and for school with the job and financial aid and some money from the folks.”

  Gilbert brought our mugs of tea to the table and sat next to me. “You think we should get another roommate? It is a three bedroom.”

  “Maybe.” I took a sip of the tea. “I was kind of hoping to just keep it to the two of us. We’re now kind of used to each other and I don’t really like the idea of living with a stranger.”

  His lips twitched. “Yeah, used to each other. I like that. Maybe we should talk to the apartment manager about getting a smaller place. The two bedroom is at least a couple hundred less than this place.”

  “That sounds like a way better option to me. The idea of moving all our shit doesn’t thrill me, but it’s better than dealing with a new roommate.”

  Gilbert nodded. “Okay, I’ll look into it for us.”

  After a few more sips of my green tea, in between yawns, I stood and stretched. “I’m totally exhausted. Going to bed.”

  “Yeah. I’m going to finish my tea, do some dishes, and then head to bed myself. Night, Jess.”

  “Good night, Gilbert.”

  Chapter 2

  I had about an hour and twenty minutes between classes the next day, which was really too short to go all the way home to hang, and I didn’t want to study at the library that day. So I ended up texting my friends, Ruby, Victor, and Landers, to meet me for coffee at a nearby Starbucks.

  “You’ve gotten candy and flowers?” Landers asked, pushing his glasses back up from his nose. His name was Seth Landers but for some reason I didn’t know, nobody called him Seth. Even Landers himself.

  “Flower.” I took a sip of my latte. “It was a single blue carnation.”

  “Hmm.” Ruby tapped a freshly red-painted and manicured nail on her coffee cup. Today she had dyed her once blonde hair burgundy. Not that it had been blond since like junior high.

  I’d known my three buddies for years. Back when we were kids we had formed a sort of clique. A geeky one, but still. Ruby and Victor, who liked to dress Goth, had eventually worked themselves out to be high school sweethearts. And they still were together. I pretty much figured they always would be. I was the gay, artistic one, though I hadn’t really done any art for a couple of years. As far as I could tell Landers didn’t have a preference for either sex. He liked science and science fiction. He was into Star Wars and Star Trek. And maybe Battlestar Galactica.

  “What does hmm mean?” I asked.

  She shrugged. “Trying to think who your admirer could be. They know something about you.”

  “I know.”

  “Could be a lucky guess,” Victor said. “He doesn’t particularly like or dislike truffles. And lots of guys like blue.”

  “Well, yeah, I guess that’s true,” Ruby agreed. She eyed Landers. “What about you?”

  “What about me?” He’d just taken a big sip of his beverage and now had a ring of foam around his mouth.

  “You got—” She pointed at her mouth. “You could be Jesse’s secret crush.”

  “Me?” he squeaked, ignoring her attempts to point out the foam on his face. “Why me?”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake.” I picked up a napkin and thrust it at him. “Wipe the foam off your mouth.”

  Landers did and then glared at me. “I don’t even like Jesse that much as a person, let alone something else.”

  “Thank God for that,” I said.

  “I think you’d be cute together,” Ruby said, which earned her a glare from both of us. She waved her hand. “But since you won’t cooperate on that, um, how about your roommate? Gilbert? He’s a hottie.”

  I snorted. “No way is it him.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Because, he doesn’t go for short, scrawny geeks. I’ve seen the guys he dates. Besides, he was as perplexed as I was about who they were from.”

  Landers shook his head. “I don’t buy it being just a lucky guess. Maybe the blue, but the carnation? Most people would have chosen a rose if they didn’t know the person that well.”

  A barista stepped up to their table holding a plate that had a little chocolate cake on it shaped like a heart. “Which one of you is Jesse?”

  “Huh? Um, me.”

 
; She put the plate with the cake in front of me. “Someone wanted me to give this to you.”

  “What? Who?”

  She shrugged. “Didn’t say his name. And he’s gone.” Without waiting for them to ask her anything else, she walked back toward the front of the coffee shop.

  I stared down at the little cake. I could smell cocoa.

  “That looks scrumptious,” Ruby said as all three of his friends leaned forward eagerly. “That didn’t come from here. Gonna try it?”

  Biting my lip, I cut into it with a plastic fork and warm chocolate sauce oozed from the middle.

  “It’s a lava cake,” Victor stated the obvious.

  And an excellent one, I decided, as I put a mouthful into my mouth.

  “You made a yummy sound. I want some.” Ruby picked up another fork and went to stab at my cake.

  “Hey, hey, get your own.” I selfishly covered it.

  “Don’t be so stingy,” Landers protested.

  Rolling my eyes, I pushed it toward them and the three of them dived onto it like vultures on carrion.

  “Oh, my God,” Ruby said, closing her eyes. “Whoever this guy is, he’s got it bad.”

  I was starting to wonder about that myself, and as Valentine’s Day was fast approaching, I also wondered if my admirer would reveal himself on that day.

  * * * *

  I picked up the mail out of our locked mailbox that afternoon before heading up to our apartment. Inside the box was one of those brown mailer envelopes addressed to me. I felt it and realized it was kind of shaped like a DVD or something. Since I hadn’t ordered anything, I wondered if it was yet another gift from my admirer.

  Gilbert wasn’t home yet, so I closed the front door, went into the kitchen for a soda, and tore open the envelope. Inside was a role-playing video game I’d had on an on-line wish list.

  The receipt listed my address and the message: Happy Valentine’s Day, Jesse. On Valentine’s Day meet me at Enrique’s at 7:30.

  Enrique’s was a little family-owned Mexican restaurant I quite liked. Valentine’s Day was tomorrow, so that meant my admirer planned to reveal himself at dinner tomorrow night. My stomach fluttered as I read the note over and over.