Pulling Apart Read online

  Pulling Apart

  By Shawn Lane

  Published by JMS Books LLC

  Visit jms-books.com for more information.

  Copyright 2018 Shawn Lane

  ISBN 9781634866989

  Cover Design: Written Ink Designs | written-ink.com

  Image(s) used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.

  All rights reserved.

  WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

  No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

  This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It may contain sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which might be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are solely the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictitiously, though reference may be made to actual historical events or existing locations. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Published in the United States of America.

  NOTE: This book was previously published by Loose Id.

  * * * *

  Pulling Apart

  By Shawn Lane

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 1

  Noah Riggins pulled his car into the driveway of the house he shared with his lover, Charlie Banks, and for a moment just sat in the car with the engine off. Leaning his head on the steering wheel, he prepared himself for having to go inside.

  It shouldn’t be this hard.

  It couldn’t have been that long ago he eagerly jumped from the car and ran into the house. Shaking his head, he reached for the briefcase lying on the passenger seat and got out.

  Sitting in the car all night wouldn’t change things. He’d already waited until after seven o’clock to leave work.

  As soon as he entered the front door the lack of light caused heaviness in his chest. He couldn’t go back to the way Charlie had been at the start of their relationship. The living room was entirely devoid of light as was the kitchen and dining room. The hallway light was the only illumination.

  “Charlie?”

  “In here,” came Charlie’s voice from the direction of the bedroom.

  Noah briefly closed his eyes, then flung his briefcase onto the couch. He headed down the hallway, certain he’d find Charlie just lying in bed with the lights off.

  He flicked on the switch for the light over their bed and sat on the edge next to Charlie’s prone body. His lover, dressed only in a T-shirt and boxers, simply stared at the ceiling.

  “Feeling sick?” he asked softly.

  “No.”

  “Did you eat?”

  “Not hungry.”

  It was a struggle to keep the sigh locked inside. “When was the last time you ate?”

  Charlie shrugged.

  Noah nodded. “Okay. Well, I stopped and ate something on the way home.” He rubbed Charlie’s bare leg. “Anything I can get you?”

  “No.”

  “Charlie—”

  “Not right now, Noah. I’m tired. Can you turn out the light? I’m going to go to sleep.”

  “You need some help.”

  “Don’t,” Charlie whispered and turned on his side to face away from Noah.

  He got up, flicked off the light, and left the bedroom. In the last couple of months their once great relationship had deteriorated to the point it was no longer recognizable to Noah. He couldn’t even remember the last time he and Charlie had made love.

  Noah made his way to the spare bedroom he’d been spending far too many nights sleeping in lately. It had become hard to lie next to Charlie knowing the man had shut him out entirely.

  He closed the door and took out his cell phone. Not that he thought Charlie would overhear or even care. He pressed speed dial number two.

  “Hello.”

  Noah instantly recognized Michael Bennett’s voice. “Hello, Michael, is Kev there?”

  “Hi, Noah. Sure, hold on.”

  Seconds later, Kevin came on the line. “Hey there, gorgeous.”

  The sound of his best friend’s bubbly voice never failed to make him smile. A small smile this time, but a smile.

  “Hi, Kev. I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

  Kevin laughed. “Oh, no, we finished our pre-dinner fuck a while ago. What’s up?”

  “Just needed a friendly voice.”

  His friend sighed. “Is he still the same?”

  “Worse, maybe. I don’t know what to do anymore, Kev. I can’t get through to him,” Noah said softly. “It’s worse than even before when he shut me out.”

  “I’d talk to him but I don’t think he’d listen to me. Want me to have Michael kick his ass?”

  Noah smiled. “No. I like his ass too much.”

  “Want to come over?”

  “No. I’ll deal with it I guess. We’re still on for Friday, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m thinking it might just be me, though. Don’t know if Charlie will come.” Noah closed his eyes and lay down on the spare bed. “Okay, I’ll let you go back to your man.”

  “All right, I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, Kev.” Noah sighed as the conversation ended. It was still early and he wasn’t really that tired. A few months ago he’d have been making love to Charlie.

  Sitting up, he got out of bed and sat in the easy chair they’d placed in the guest room. Getting comfortable, he grabbed the remote for the television off the side table and began to surf for something to watch. A comedy would be perfect.

  * * * *

  Noah kissed the line of Charlie’s jaw, loving the prickliness of the day’s growth there. But he couldn’t stop there and moved to cover Charlie’s lips with his. The man had the best lips on the planet. Big, soft and delicious.

  Charlie gasped. “Noah, please.”

  “Please what, angel?”

  Charlie’s fingers grazed over Noah’s abs. “Fuck me.”

  With a groan, he flipped his naked lover onto his stomach and reached for the strawberry scented lube, a Christmas gift from Kevin, and sloshed out enough to prepare Charlie for the invasion of his cock.

  Charlie spread his legs wider, pushing his ass up in the air. His body trembled and for a moment all Noah could do was stare, knowing he did that to Charlie. The man wanted him so much. Once, not so long ago, the possibility had seemed out of his reach.

  Noah pushed two fingers inside Charlie’s entrance, feeling his lover relax and let him in. After a few moments of prep, Noah slicked his cock and replaced his fingers with his aching shaft. Just one long thrust and he was balls-deep.

  “Yes, yes, Noah, hard. Fuck me hard,” Charlie begged.

  Closing his eyes, willing himself to have the strength to make it last, Noah’s cock pounded Charlie’s ass just as his lover asked, alternating between hard and fast and pounding and slow. Noah gripped Charlie’s hips, driving into him, giving him the rough fuck he begged for.

  “God, I love you, Noah.”

  * * * *

  Noah woke, the dream sliding away almost as though it had never been. Once making love with Charlie had not been just a dream.

  He blinked. He had expected to find that he had fallen asleep in the chair in front of the television, but the TV was off and he lay in the bed of the spa
re room with a blanket covering him.

  Charlie.

  He swung his legs out of bed and went looking for his thoughtful lover, but it was soon clear the house was empty save for him. Again. Lately, even when Noah was home, Charlie was gone. Forcing away his disappointment, Noah went to shower and get ready for work.

  * * * *

  Noah poured himself a cup of coffee from the office coffeepot. It was his third cup and he was pretty sure that was the only reason he was surviving. He didn’t really eat much and he’d lost weight since his problems with Charlie began.

  “Hey, Noah.” A young guy with soft shoulder length sable hair, tied back with a rubber band, had entered the little office kitchen. He was a pretty man with long eyelashes framing green eyes and plump lips. He held a dark red coffee mug in his hand.

  Noah smiled. “Hi, Carl. Let me get out of your way.”

  “No need to move,” Carl Hargrove said with his very slight lisp. “I’ll just squeeze in next to you.”

  Carl did just as he said and put himself in the tiny space between the coffeemaker and the counter, wedging Noah in. His smile was so engaging Noah couldn’t really complain. The younger man had only started working at the company a few weeks earlier and already he’d become quite popular.

  “You look tired,” Carl said as he poured the dark brown liquid into his mug. He then held the cup in his hands like he was trying to warm them. “Having trouble sleeping?”

  “Hmm.”

  “I know, mind my own business.” Carl shook his head, but smiled. “You know if you ever need help getting off…to sleep, you can call on me.”

  Noah laughed. “That’s quite all right. I have a boyfriend.”

  “I know. All the hot ones are taken.”

  Noah felt himself blush. Hot? Him?

  “I’d better skedaddle before you get me up on charges of harassment.” Carl winked and then scooted past him, rubbing his ass along Noah’s hip as he moved past.

  Swallowing, Noah forced himself to ignore the flame of desire the man caused. Maybe if he weren’t madly in love with Charlie and very committed to that relationship he’d give hooking up with Carl a thought. But…he couldn’t.

  And the fact that he even had the thought wracked him with guilt. He shouldn’t even be thinking such things.

  Chapter 2

  Once again, when Noah arrived home it was already dark. He was surprised, however, to find Charlie sitting in the living room next to the lamp, which he was surprised to see had been turned on. He hadn’t found his lover up and waiting for him for a long time.

  “Hey, babe. Everything okay?” Noah asked, attempting a smile. Charlie looked very serious. His dark curly hair lay in a tangle of misshapen curls framing his face.

  “We need to talk.” Charlie’s voice was eerily quiet.

  His gut twisting, Noah nodded. He sat on the sofa next to Charlie.

  “I don’t know how to say this, Noah, but I think we need some time apart.”

  The breath left his lungs, like he’d been unexpectedly knocked to the ground. In the back of his head, yeah, he thought maybe that was what Charlie would say, but his heart, his very soul, hoped he was wrong.

  “Is there someone else?” he heard himself ask, uncertain how he was even functioning. He could have been a zombie, as numb as he was.

  Charlie shook his head. “No.”

  “You’ve stopped loving me?” The blood rushed and pounded in his ears.

  “God, no. Of course not, Noah.”

  He should feel comfort in Charlie’s denial, but he didn’t. The hurt overwhelmed him. “Yet you want to break up with me.”

  “I’m not breaking up with you. I just think…some time apart will do us both good.”

  “Really?” His throat clogged for a few seconds so he couldn’t get words out. Tears burned and pooled in his eyes and he forced them away. “Funny, Charlie, because I don’t think any time away from you will do me one bit of good. See, the way I view relationships is they are work, and it’s work you do together, not apart.”

  Charlie looked away. “I know you don’t understand.”

  “I don’t. Why can’t you just talk to me? Tell me what’s wrong.”

  But his lover remained silent.

  “Could you tell Sly Cat?” he asked, referring to the Internet identity he’d used early in their relationship.

  That had Charlie looking at him sharply. “You are him.”

  “I know that, but you shared yourself with him when you wouldn’t with me.” Noah pinched the bridge of his nose. He was talking nonsense, but he couldn’t help it. “I just wish you would agree to see someone. If not with me, then by yourself. I’m sure we can get you the name of a good psychiatrist.”

  Charlie’s jaw tightened. “I can work this out myself.”

  Heartache and disappointment nearly overwhelmed him. He couldn’t force Charlie to get help. Couldn’t force him to want to save them. He swallowed heavily. “Okay. I’ll…pack some things.”

  “Where will you go?”

  He almost responded, “Why do you care?” but held back. When he’d moved in with Charlie, he had rented out the home he owned just down the street from this one. He couldn’t kick out his tenant without any notice. “A hotel, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry, Noah.”

  Look at me. I hate it when you won’t even look me in the eyes when you throw me away.

  “I’m sorry, too,” he said softly, standing.

  Charlie sighed. “I’m just…lost.”

  “I know you are, Charlie,” he said, pausing in the hall doorway leading to the bedroom. “I guess I just hoped you wouldn’t lose me, too.”

  Noah walked into their bedroom and straight to the walk-in closet for a suitcase. He chose a large navy blue one they’d used when the two of them had gone to Hawaii earlier that year. It seemed a lifetime ago now. Tossing clothes into it as quickly as he could, Noah called Kevin.

  “Hey, sunshine, what’s up?” Kevin answered.

  “I…” He couldn’t get the words out. The tears burning his eyes flowed freely down his cheeks.

  “Noah?”

  “Charlie…well, we’re—”

  “What? Tell me.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed. His head pounded, his nose clogged from the tears, but the ache in his heart was the worse. “I can’t stay here.”

  “Oh, my God. What the fuck did he do?” Kevin shouted.

  “Nothing. Well, he wants to separate.”

  “Bastard.”

  “I’m packing up. I guess I have to find a hotel.”

  Kevin swore again. “The hell you will. You’re coming here.”

  “I don’t want to be a burden.”

  “You are not a burden. You’re staying with us. I don’t want any arguments either,” Kevin said. “Do you need us to pick you up?”

  Noah sighed. “No, Kev, I can manage to drive.”

  “Are you sure? You aren’t emotionally bereft?”

  He very nearly rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics, but couldn’t work up the humor to do so. “I can still drive. I guess I’ll see you soon. Thanks, Kevin.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

  Clenching his eyes shut, Noah nodded, once more unable to form words.

  “Bye, Noah.”

  He lowered his cell. At least he could count on Kevin. His world was ending, but Kevin would be there for him.

  A little while later, he zipped up his suitcase and wheeled it out of the bedroom, but not before snatching up his favorite pillows from his and Charlie’s bed. His lover still sat on the sofa in the living room.

  Charlie looked up. “Where will you be? So I can get in touch with you if I need to.”

  If I need to.

  “I’ll be at Kevin and Michael’s. And you have my cell and office numbers.”

  “All right. Noah, I’m—”

  “Do not tell me your sorry again, Charlie. I can’t take it one more time.
” Noah didn’t care if he came off sounding like an asshole. He walked to the door. “See you.”

  “Wait.” Charlie stood and walked quickly to the front door. He laid his hand on Noah’s chest, right next to his heart. It was torture. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to Noah’s.

  Noah, against his brain’s own protest, deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue in between Charlie’s pliant lips. Unable to help himself, his arms wrapped around Charlie and pulled him close. It felt so damn good to have him in his arms once more his heart beat rapidly.

  “God, Charlie,” he groaned against his lover’s mouth. Grabbing Charlie’s ass, he brought their erections together. Suddenly all he could think of was being inside the man he loved.

  Charlie whimpered and pushed closer to Noah, so close he was nearly crawling up Noah’s body, which was fine by him. It would make it easier to get Charlie in the bed and naked.

  He lifted the man slightly and made their way to the bedroom, their lips locked, their limbs interlocked. He got them onto the bed and they removed each other’s clothes.

  They kissed each other, touched each other with a frantic desperation. Their hands roamed over bare skin, their lips and teeth scored over flesh. Reluctantly Noah broke away long enough to grab the lube out of the bedside table.

  He spared a moment to slick the lube over his cock, the sensation of rubbing the cool liquid over his shaft sending shivers of desire through him. Two lubed fingers slipped inside Charlie’s entrance, spreading him, preparing him for Noah’s invasion. And then he was inside, balls-deep. They breathed as one, Noah thrusting hard and fast. Noah couldn’t resist Charlie’s whimpers, his clutching of Noah. It drove him insane with need.

  “Ah, baby,” he gasped unable to hold back his orgasm. He came with a yell, aware that Charlie moaned out his own release underneath him.

  When he could move, Noah slipped out of his lover and lay beside him. His heart pumped fast, his breathing was shallow, yet he couldn’t stop from grinning.

  “That was amazing,” he whispered.

  Charlie didn’t respond. Which had Noah’s stomach twisting all over again.

  “Charlie? Everything okay?”

  “Sure.”